Useless Dog

Is this a family affair? Farmer Trevor Wardrop talks about his collie cross to a camera held by Ken Wardrop. Is it a question of, "Just be yourself, dad"?

The film has one joke, which is about enough for a five minute short, and has the lazy feel of a home movie. Trevor has a dry, self-deprecating sense of humour and his scenes are in the straight-to-camera talking head style of an unimaginative DVD extra.

As for the joke, let's meet the dog, seven years old, energetically challenged, scared of sheep, about as valuable on a working farm as a sea lion at Holyrood.

Trevor says his useless dog - a bitch, actually - "chases birds and rounds up hens," but usually flakes out in the sun. There are no chasing sequences, lots of flaking and an odd incident with a cow, which can only be described as a gender/species malfunction - female canine humps broad back of prone heifer - which indicates ambition on a grand scale, rural ignorance or desperation.

Trevor loves his dog, no matter what he says, which gives the film a family-friendly feel.