Twinky

Twinky (Susan George), a 16-year-old schoolgirl, begins a relationship with 38-year-old erotica writer Scott Wardman (Charles Bronson). Her parents (Michael Craig and Honor Blackman) disapprove of the relationship, so Twinky and Scott do the only sensible thing: marry in Scotland and move to New York.

Twinky starts off brightly, with a light-hearted and bubbly script. The conflict between Twinky and her parents is predictable but amusing. Honor Blackman is comfortably the star of the show as Twinky's ditzy mother. The first half hour promises a mildly bawdy comedy that's a little cheesy, but lots of fun. Unfortunately, the film soon goes off the rails, and the rest is just uninspiring filler to the end.

Charles Bronson plays his character far too passively and laidback. Whilst this avoids any suggestion that he's a creepy predator who should be beaten to death with copies of the Daily Mail, it also means there's no chemistry between him and Susan George.

George acts as if she's 12, not 16. Rather than any intended youthful naivete, she's just irritating. Having Twinky play her music too loud, and Scott moaning about it, is about as unoriginal as you could imagine. It's unbelievable that their relationship would last a week, much less lead to marriage and emigration. As a result, there's little to care about in the characters.

It's not an especially controversial film, despite the subject matter. Even when Twinky's pervy grandfather shares a bath with six of her school friends, it's little more than a dirty old man pinching someone's bottom in a Carry On film - all very unsuitable in the real world, but just a cheap joke in an insubstantial film like this.

After the bright first half hour, Richard Donner's film stumbles and crumbles into nothing much of anything. You'd be much better off watching The Graduate, either version of Lolita, or Carry On Girls.