Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow

An exciting alternate history shindig this ain't. SCATWOT (a rather fitting acronym) is super-overindulgence in bluescreen effects and bizarrely out-of-place swashbuckling. Yes, I know the bulk of the film is set on a plane, but watch it and you'll see what I mean.

You'll also get a vague (or heavy, depending if you're still paying attention) sense of familiarity. Any other movie set during the Thirties is ripped off. Everything from King Kong, Indiana Jones and War Of The Worlds - hell, even Disney's obscure animation Victory Through Air Power. Of course, it is inspired by the 1939 New York World's Fair and there was a lot of work and skill put into its making. But who bakes a cake only to top it with poisoned cherries?

The cherries in question are the Gator's least favourite people: Mr Pretension himself - Jude "If it is not set in the olden days it's not worthy of ME" Law - and Gwyneth "I look like a chicken" Poultry. Honestly, I take it personally that they were cast in the leads, the latter of which is absolutely terrible. Her acting is sub-Hollyoaks and she frequently sounds like she's reading off cue cards not held up high enough. Academy Award winner, my reptilian ass!

I tried to find a bright spot in the fact that Michael Gambon is in it, but his part is like... two minutes long. And Angelina Jolie doesn't even get halfway naked. She did look cute however... even with one eye.

Mr Pretension plays the titular Sky Captain, a rogue Errol Flynn type, who appears to protect the whole world from airborne danger (was there any back in the Thirties, other than malaria?). Chicken Woman is Polly Perkins, a newspaper reporter, who is Sky Captain's ex-girlfriend, so naturally she hops in his passenger seat and goes along for the ride, when giant robots - think of Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still - start tearing up Manhattan for some idiotic reason.

It comes as no big revelation that a mad German dude, called Doctor Tottenheimersheisenhausenkrankenwagenhoffenheim...or something, is the man controlling these robots for his own wicked reasons. Damn those Thirties era Jerries, always up to no good with evil robots and stuff. So off Sky Captain goes in pursuit of this weirdo arch villain, who is played by Laurence Olivier for the love of all that is green and scaly. Jesus Christ, he must be rolling in his grave!

Kerry Conran (that is a man with a girl's name btw) shoots the film practically in black-and-white. There is colour, but not much. I'm not too keen on directors who think that monochrome instantly adds credibility. But I suppose playing around with colour smoothes over the rough transitions between the sometimes good, sometimes dodgy, effects.

If I had to compare his direction to someone else, I'd say he emulates - read "rips off" - Tim Burton. And by that I mean the good Tim Burton who gave us Beetlejuice, Batman and Ed Wood, not the bad Tim Burton who gave us Mars Attacks!, Planet Of The Apes and Big Shit.

When it comes down to it, SCATWOT has interesting and potentially great inspirations, but is riddled with stolen scenes, borrowed imagery and two wretched leading "talents".

It may be loud and pretty, but those qualities never won the Gator any pals. Go watch Steven Spielberg's notorious failure 1941. It's better than this.