Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas

Forget Sinbad the Sailor, think Sinbad the Pirate. Look at his name - Sin Bad. Tells you something.

When he was young, his best friend was Porteus, the king's son. Having grown used to a privileged lifestyle, sleeping over at the palace and stuff, he liked it so much he wanted a share in the spoils.

And then Porteus grew up into a proper prince and Sinbad into an improper thief. With his crew of cut-throats, Sinbad attacked defenceless merchant ships and did what pirates do, thankfully omitted here because this is a U-certificate cartoon from DreamWorks.

Despite a starry cast on vocals - Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joseph Fiennes - the film is not as much fun as DreamWorks' other seafaring adventure, The Road To El Dorado, because the script is more self-conscious about being entertaining and the jokes aren't as good. When the baddie is the Goddess of Discord, it's a tad one-sided. She can do anything she likes, such as call up giant monsters, mess around with the forces of nature and control the special effects department, because when you're immortal and omnipotent, little bitty humans are chaff on the floor of your creation.

The plot would confuse an intelligent bat. There is something called The Book Of Peace that Porteus is transporting back to his princedom. The lady Discord wants it, too, although you are never quite sure why. What does The Book do, other than emanate a bright light?

When Sinbad's gang attacks Porteus' vessel, intent on rape and pillage - maybe not the rape - the two friends meet again, which puts paid to pillage as well. The goddess throws sea monsters at them to make life aggravating and, eventually, steals The Book.

Sinbad and Porteus' girlfriend Marina and the motley/loveable crew set sail for the lady Discord's earthly home - normally, she lives in the sky with other constellations - to retrieve The Book. It's a long and dangerous voyage, during which time sexy old Sinbad has his wicked way with the luscious Marina - you don't see that, either.

The animation lacks precision detail - Sinbad's smile is locked on - but the effects are worth the price of peanuts.