Raising Helen

Kate Hudson is becoming her mother. Once she had a choice. After the dream glittery success of Almost Famous, she was showered with awards, magazine covers and adjectives that stand up and sing. With the world at her feet, she took the soft option and joined Rom-Com Inc.

Those with an IQ higher than Scooby's will run screaming from the cinema. Raising Helen adds the tosh to sentimental, the oh my to God.

It's about the fashion biz and style groupies - is that Paris Hilton with her horrible dog? - and Helen Mirren playing the bitch boss of a New York modelling agency. Helen (Hudson) is her vivacious PA, with cascading golden curls that took 10 gay guys a week to prepare.

It's also about death and kids "and being a mom is the greatest job on earth," according to Shaman's stay-at-home, jealous sister (Joan Cusack). The love interest is a groovy Methodist pastor (John Corbett), who actually says: "I'm a sexy man of God and I know it."

Kill me now!

When Helen's other sister and brother-in-law are eclipsed in a car crash, she is given custody of their three children, Cute, Cute and Bolchy. Will she manage on her own as a parental substitute, as well as hold down her glamorous job?

Do you give a damn?

The best thing in this throwaway movie is Cusack and Abigail Breslin, who plays the littlest child. The worst is everything else.

Hudson relies on charm. She doesn't act, she smiles. It's not enough.