Motel Hell

This movie is basically a mish-mash of everything that fans of Seventies horror classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre love about the genre. Despite being made in 1980, it is as cheesy and as Seventies as they come. Swingers, pot smoking band-members (the band is called Ivan and the Terribles), psychedelic light shows, dumb blondes who gets their tits out and chainsaw-wielding maniacs in pig masks. Of course, this is entirely the way things are meant to be in the world of Motel Hell.

Rory Calhoun is Farmer Vincent, famous for his smoked meats. A billboard proclaims “Farmer Vincent’s Smoke Meats: This is it!” Do you see what they’re getting at with this? The film drops us in at the deep end, as in the opening scene we see Vincent going about his nefarious business with a shotgun in the small hours of the morning. From there we are treated to wide eyed gaspings from the blonde and dim-witted Terry (Nina Axelrod) and inept fumblings as perpetrated by Paul Linke as the bumbling sheriff.

Cannibalising, throat-slicing, cackling and chloroforming their way throught the movie are Vincent and his sister Ida (played by Nancy Parsons and perhaps the single scariest thing about the film), serving their own twisted idea of higher purpose and providing folks with the best-tasting smoked meats in the county.

Hilarious if only for Farmer Vincent’s insistence that he is going to teach Terry “the ancient art of meat-smoking”, this is pretty much a must for anyone who enjoys schlocky Seventies horror and the wonderful sense of humour inherent in the genre.