La Vache Et Le President

Charm is like chocolate. Too much makes you sick.

Philippe Muyl's film is sticky through and through. Lucas (Mehdi Ortelsberg), the eight-year-old hero, has a melting smile. His farmer dad (Barnard Yerles) is solidly handsome, with no mud on his wellies. Sarah (Florence Pernel) lives in a grand house in Paris, suitably unattached, writing books for famous people. Maeve, the cow, is Scottish, small and cuddly. She never drops a wet one.

As a patless fable, La Vache Et Le President squishes emotion into a warm glutinous mass. Lucas writes letters to his dead mum and slides them under her tombstone (sob). Dad can't look at another woman because their's was the perfect love (sigh). Sarah won't be put off by a misunderstanding and insists on remaining friends with Lucas (hurray). Maeve is condemned to death because of BSE in the herd (gulp).

Young children with an insatiable appetite for sweet things will enjoy Maeve's adventures in the city, but be baffled by the politics. Older children will be unimpressed by the grown-ups' gauche behaviour in the yuck zone (kissing) and find Lucus excruciatingly nice. Even the slaughterhouse is cleaner than a hospital.

Farmers who suffered during the foot-and-mouth epidemic in Britain are advised to stay at home. When sentimentality acts as a red rag, it's better to keep the gate closed. Feelgood is not the same as feelright.