Janice Beard: 45 Wpm

A goofy dreamer, who turns into a swan, has been the staple of fairytales since before Cinders had her shoe size checked.

Janice Beard comes from a new town between Edinburgh and Glasgow, where her mum hangs around the house all day in a dressing gown. There is a name for this - post-something depression - and Janice is determined to find the cure.

She travels to London, becomes a temp for an independent British car maker - that's the fairytale - where her eccentric taste in desk ornaments and schoolgirl dress sense is noted by the typing pool's feline fraternity.

Janice is gauche and decent and clueless about most things. She has a crush on the office boy (Rhys Ifans) who is working undercover for a rival firm.

The film has a Wendy Mitty charm, although precious little else. The plot plummets into a comedy graveyard before Janice comes racing to the rescue in the final reel.

None of the supporting cast has any depth, or interest. The secretarial supervisor (Patsy Kensit) is portrayed as Cruella de Vil's neice, in power suits and wads of makeup. Eileen Walsh, as Janice, remains scatty and normal, which isn't enough to save the script from suicide.