In Good Company

There are movies that leave you speechless and there are movies that make you wonder, what was that all about? In Good Company fits both categories, the former because it's such a waste of time/space/talent and the latter because its motive is obscured.

Having less reason to exist than a blue nosed Canadian whale tagger is not uncommon for mainstream product in the early Naughties, especially in the field of rom-com. This star-driven, lightweight, brain candy section of Hollywood's feelgood sub-section, aiming its sugar-tipped arrows at undemanding eye grazers, will make no apology for script loss. Stress-stretched, hyped up, switched off, washed out Friday night moviegoers want beautiful people being vaguely charming in plots that involve fluffy pets, smart kids, pretend sex and jobs that don't demand actors to do any work, because that's boring.

In Good Company - is the title intentionally ironic? - is about work, oddly enough, although you don't experience the mechanics, only the aftershocks. It's an ageist comedy that strains to crack a smile, in which the underlying theme is deadly serious. When you are over 50 and good at your job, what chance do you have in today's thrusting, youth obsessed corporate jungle? Answer: none.

Let's stack the deck against Dan (Dennis Quaid). He's happily married, although cynics in the audience might question the use of the smiley adverb, with two teenage daughters, neither of whom are junkies or nymphomaniacs. He is head of ad sales at a successful magazine publishers and life hasn't dragged him through the brier bush yet, only blessed him with sports trophies and good teeth.

But, hey! Things are gonna change. His wife (CSI's Marg Helgenberger) announces she's pregnant. The company is taken over and his job allocated to a 26-year-old ignoramus, called Carter (Topher Grace), whose wife has just walked out on him, because he only thinks about promotion and only talks about himself.

In the office, everyone is paranoid about getting the sack and so spend their time sucking up to the nauseating yes-men who have been brought in to downsize the organisation. Carter and Dan's eldest daughter (Scarlett Johansson) get it together, behind the old man's back, something that is telegraphed so far in advance you're asleep when it happens.

And the message is... Don't cast Johannson and give her nothing to do. Don't cast Grace at all; he's as limp as last week's lettuce. Don't expect the Quaid charm to keep the flag flying when he plays a possessive dad who thinks every boy who looks at his girls is a sexual predator. Don't make movies about office politics and then manipulate the result. Don't make a rom-com that spikes the rom and ditches the com. Don't invite Malcolm McDowell to fill his three-minute cameo slot, because he's so scary now. Don't trust takeovers, or underage whiz kids; their perception of social responsibility is warped by avarice and ambition.