About Last Night

If Celia Johnson had watched this film she would have died of shock. Rom-coms have dropped their trousers since Brief Encounter. Now it's all about loins and bedroom performance.

Kevin Hart is about as subtle as genital warts. Here he plays Bernie, a self-professed sex machine, who likes to cock-a-doodle about his conquests with Danny (Michael Ealy), his best friend.

They go to The Broadway Bar in LA where all the happening chicks hang out and the decibel levels are as fearsome as an aural tsunami. If this represents an evening's fun with the cool crowd it doesn't say much for the human race, circa 2014.

All Bernie thinks about is breast size and pantie elastic. He hooks up with Joan (Regina Hall), a budding nymphomaniac with the inhibitions of a porn star. They go at it like rabbits.

Meanwhile, shy Danny is making a play for shy Debbie (Joy Bryant). They believe in love and taking it slow. He's a real gentleman and she's happy to slip her arm into his while walking down the street. Later they move in together.

What this film seems to be saying is relationships based on sex and infatuation are doomed. But, hey! Not wasted. The next phase is friendship and the phase after that possibly the real thing, whatever that may mean.

Bernie is a loud mouth. Danny is sweet. Is that enough?

Why remake the 1986 original with Rob Lowe and Demi Moore? It was based (loosely) on David Mamet's play Sexual Perversity In Chicago. Now we have it 21st century style, with uninhibited naughty bits.

Forget about Chicago. This is Gomorrah, with a Californian twist.